LAKERS, BABY!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  LOS ANGELES LAKERS COMMENTATOR

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS season begins Saturday with their first preseason game against the Minnesota Timberwolves.  Oh, I know!  Some people say the preseason doesn't mean anything.  Some NBA coaches even want to eliminate the preseason and just start playing regular games which show up in the standings.  Let me tell you why the preseason is important. 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Here it comes! ...

"BLUE" JIMMY:  It is not fair to rebuilding teams like THE LAKERS to NOT have a preseason.  Using the NBA Western Conference as and example, let me show you exactly why.  Teams like the Golden State Warriors, the San Antonio Spurs and the Oklahoma City Thunder have their all-star rosters intact.  They know what they have, they just want to start the regular season and jump so far ahead in the standings that no one will be able to catch them.  Teams like THE LAKERS on the other hand, have extremely promising rookies, skilled, developing young players and nice off-season acquisitions which look good on paper but no one knows exactly how it will all work until they all get on a court together and play against other NBA teams.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Scrimmage is not an NBA game!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The preseason determines who will  get to wear that proud purple and gold LAKER uniform, who will be a starter, who will be coming off the bench, who will be sent to the LAKER D-League and who will get cut from the team and end up playing for food and rent money in some ghetto in Lithuania.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  You know that tall, shiny-baldheaded, MOFO you see standing outside the club letting people in? ... failed NBA player!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  So everyone is asking me, "What do you think of THE LAKER'S chances this year?"  My prediction:  They are still a couple years away from championship contention and if everything goes FUBAR in the Western Conference, they might squeak into the playoffs.  But I am very excited about this young LAKER team:  Second overall pick Lonzo Ball; consistently excellent Jordan Clarkson; seven-foot scoring machine Brooke Lopez; automatic double-double beast Julius Randle and the young man who everyone predicts will be a future all-star, Brandon Ingram plus a cast of other solid players (KCP, Larry Nance Jr. et al.).  This team is not going to suck!  I predict that no matter what the standings say, THE LAKERS are going to be the sensation of the NBA and sell out every game at home and on the road and owners of teams like the Golden State Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers are going to be frustrated and wonder why this young group of LAKER upstarts are grabbing all the headlines ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... I don't care if you just won a championship, I wanna see those Bad Boys from L.A. !!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

THE CHURCH OF THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS

"BLUE" JIMMY:  LAKERS ANALYST/CELTICS HATER

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  S**t !!!  Fri. Mar. 3, 2017  at  Staples Center LOS ANGELES LAKERS 95 - Boston Celtics 115.  And the score doesn't even show what a blowout it was!  The Celtics were showboating and getting easy All-Star game dunks and 3-pointers and The Lakers looked like those out-of-shape fools you see running back and forth at your local rec center.  This is unacceptable to a lifelong member of THE LAKERS religion like me.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  F**k The Celtics!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  At this point in the season with a championship or the playoffs or even a winning season out of the picture, the only thing Lakers fans have to look forward to is watching The Lakers kick Celtic ass!  They lost a close game back in February in Boston and should have been Out For Blood here in L.A. ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... Instead they let the Celtics come into their house and piss all over the furniture!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  These Laker players are obviously too young to remember or care about the great LAKERS / Celtics rivalries of the past and the good and bad memories they created:  The 1969 Finals where there were hundreds of balloons up in the ceiling at The Forum to be released after THE LAKERS anticipated win and The Celtics pulled out a 2-point victory and the balloons had to stay up in the ceiling;

The 1984 Finals where Kevin Mc Hale clotheslined Kurt Rambis on his way to the basket which causes Lakers fans to boo him mercilessly to this very day;

The 1985 Finals Memorial Day Massacre at Boston Garden where The Celtics beat THE LAKERS by 34 points; The 1985 Finals where Kareem Abdul Jabbar became the oldest player in NBA history to win Finals MVP;

Magic Johnson's Baby Sky Hook in game 4 of the 1987 finals that gave them a 1-point win and sparked them to beat The Celtics in 6 games;

The 2008 Finals where the revitalized Kobe / Gasol Lakers seemingly didn't show up for game 6, got pounded by 39 points and had Celtics fans spitting on and kicking their tour bus as they left the arena as Finals losers; Kobe Bryant standing on the scorer's table as cheers and confetti rained down on him after beating The Celtics in game 7 of the 2010 finals ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... I still get tears in my eyes when I see that picture!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  And I'll never forget the standing ovation and chants of, "Kobe, Kobe ..." at Bryant's last game at TD Garden in his farewell season from  BOSTON  CELTICS fans as he left the court ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... I was like WTF?!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Young Lakers, this history is what you play for when The Boston Celtics come to town in their ugly green jerseys and LOS ANGELES LAKERS FANS expect you not to play but ATTACK when you put on that sacred purple and gold uniform and go out on the floor.  Raise your eyes to the ceiling and witness THE LAKERS glorious history hanging from the rafters and be inspired for The Lord may forgive you for losing to The Celtics ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... But LAKERS FANS won't, motherf**kers!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

bluejames61@hotmail.com